It's a funny thing about human emotion: it's very difficult to feel grateful and angry at the same time.
As we go about daily life, it's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day occurrences. We get stuck in traffic and are late to school. Our teacher gives a pop quiz. Our friend says something to hurt our feelings. Just as we've learned that we can control our reaction to situations, we can also choose to view life from a different starting place: one of gratitude. What does it mean to live life from a place of gratitude? There's a saying you may have heard: "Don't sweat the small stuff". Well, in the heat of the moment, this is often easier said than done. When your teacher announces that pop quiz and you don't feel prepared, that doesn't feel like small stuff. However, in the scheme of your whole life, when you look at the big picture, is that moment going to affect you? Ten years from now, will you look back on that pop quiz, that rude comment from your best friend, that day you were late to school, as being a huge event in your life? Probably not. When I find myself "sweating the small stuff", I like to ask myself that exact question: "Ten years from now, will this truly matter?" If the answer is no, file it under the small stuff category. Does this mean it's not important to study, to be nice to our friends or to be on time to school? Of course not. It simply means it's important to keep things in perspective, to see what's important in the big picture of life. When we do this, we can begin to focus on what's truly important. We can begin to live from a place of gratitude. Here's a technique to try when you feel yourself sweating the small stuff: 1. Ask yourself: "Will this matter in ten years" 2. If not, choose a more beneficial reaction (see Life Skillz #2) 3. Ask yourself: "What is important now?" 4. Remind yourself why you're grateful for those things In time, the goal is to live life with a constant focus on the important things, to live from this place of gratitude. Here's a personal example: As you are well aware by now ;), I go to the gym every day after school. A few weeks ago, I got stuck in a 2 hour traffic jam, causing me to miss my gym time. To say I was initally frustrated is an understatement. Here's how I handled it: 1. I had this convo in my head: "I'm frustrated. I had my whole workout planned in my head and now I'm going to miss it. This is a bummer. You know what though? Fitness is a lifestyle for me. There's no end date by which I need to "get in better shape". This is an every day thing, so this one day will not "make or break" me. Am I going to stop going to the gym because I missed one day? No. Am I using this traffic as an excuse to get out of going to the gym? Definitely not. Will missing this one day because of traffic matter in ten years? Nope. 2. I thought about what I'm grateful for: Some people can't exercise due to health reasons. I'm extremely fortunate that I have the ability to work out as hard as I choose to. Some people work multiple jobs, making finding time to work out very difficult. I'm fortunate to have a job that I love and that allows me time to work out after work. 3. I turned on an audiobook about forming habits and enjoyed the book while I waited in traffic. By focusing on the things for which I am grateful, I immediately relaxed and settled in to the situation. When we get in the habit of living from this place of gratitude, it helps us to focus on the big picture of what's important. It helps us to choose a better reaction when things don't go as planned. Most of all, it makes us happier, more genuine human beings.
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October 2017
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